She Remembers
by manyissues101
Summary: Rinoa's living in the past, almost thirty years later.


She's seventeen and fifty-five all at once, and the same time with the face of a Timber princess, and the mind of an old woman, whose knees don't hurt and ears don't fail her, so she's mentally managed to retain the majority of her youth.

And if she does anything, it's remember youth. She doesn't use GFs anymore, she doesn't need to, and her mind remains a frighteningly clear thing. Sure, everything from _before_ is gone, but, she can't say that she misses it—she can't remember if she should.

She lives in a tiny house in Centra, a page straight from Edea's book, where she lives in silence. She doesn't run an orphanage—no pitter-patter of tiny feet, no Seifers to admonish, no Selphies to smile at—and she doesn't have a Knight. This is how she's lived for almost thirty years and this is how she'll stay, for Sorceress Rinoa has no dying day.

She remembers—fear, caught between the past and future, the end and beginning of the world, heaven and hell, life and death—Time Compression. Elation, afterward, the flutter of Squall's eyes just enough to make the whole world burst into a blaze of flowers. She remembers cheering as Irvine twirled Selphie up into a kiss so fast that his hat fell off of his head. She remembers laughing as Zell held up his hand to Quistis for an action-packed high five, the confusion on her face as she lightly tapped their palms together, and then the hug that he crushed her in instead. She remembers smiling as she turned to Squall, whose own smile was worth it all again and again, and deciding that she never wanted to part with these people.

Rinoa bought a matching set of six coffee mugs, though she's only ever needed one—they're silly 'collectable' trinkets, each with the name, face, and fact about one of the heros of the Sorceress War. She sips from her own and leaves Squall, Selphie, Irvine, Zell, and Quistis carefully dusted in the cupboard. She has no visitors, she never has, and she doesn't keep up with the news—she wants to believe that they are alive, forever, on more than the cold porcelain on her shelves. Even though she knows that at least one of them isn't.

There's a hard knock on her door one day, and it startles her—no one has ever knocked on the door in her history of almost thirty years and solitude—but she regains quick composure, smoothes her skirt, and goes to answer it. She pulls back the warped wood to see two SeeDs standing there, a young man and woman, crisp in their regulated uniforms and holding clipboards.

"Good afternoon, ma'am," the shorter SeeD says, the girl, and Rinoa thinks that they've finally come for her. But they're armed with little more than smiles, papers, and pens, so she relaxes once more. "We're SeeDs hired from Balamb Garden to help in the taking of the new, worldwide census. We'd like to ask you a few, easy questions if that's alright."

Rinoa blinks at the girl, all blonde hair tied back, blue eyes and a smile she remembers—but it couldn't be.

"What're your names?" she counters politely. This girl called her ma'am, though physically she had to be older than Rinoa ever would.

"Oh, right," the girl replies sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head (just like), "This is SeeD Haeve, and I'm SeeD Dincht."

Dincht…she remembers the crack of knuckles, of silly smiles and pulling faces together at Squall when he made long speeches.

"What's your first name? If you don't mind my asking," Rinoa adds hastily.

"Huh?" The girl seems a bit surprised at the inquiry, but not put off. "I'm Tessa, and this is—"

She remembers—Zell bounced the baby wildly on his knee and she squealed in delight as her mother smiled and continued to stock books on shelves behind them. "Tessie, Tessie, Tessie!" Rinoa would coo, and snatch the little girl away from her father, because she was all blonde bubble-gum curls and the cutest baby she'd ever seen…

"Come in," Rinoa replies, holding the door open as her skirt fluttered in the breeze. They nod politely to her and step inside, over a foyer that had never been crossed but by Rinoa herself. She stares at the back of Tessa's head, unsure if her age was finally catching up with her, and she was hallucinating. She thinks about asking them if they'd like any tea…but then she remembers the mugs sitting carefully in her cabinets, and decides against it. "Now what's this about a worldwide census?"

She offers them seats around the kitchen table, which Haeve takes with professional politeness and Tessie takes with a big grin and a thank you. "The World Leaders have decided that it's in everyone's best interest to get a better idea of the populations of each continent, and the needs of its people. They've hired out SeeDs from every Garden to travel around and take down some basic information about each person that we can find," Haeve tells her.

Tessa nods through all of this, impatient with something to say, finally seizing her opportunity to speak as soon as his mouth closes. "I was kind of bummed when we got Centra, 'cause there's, like, _nothing _here. But my mother was all, 'It's really historical and all that stuff,' and I actually really like it because you're the only person we've seen for _miles_ and it makes our job super easy."

Rinoa wants to offer her a hotdog, and it's a pity that she didn't have any. Haeve gives her a sidelong, suffering glance, and Rinoa has seen those too. "So what kind of questions do you have for me?"

Have lays the clipboard swiftly onto the flat surface of the tabletop, drawing a pen from the top while Tessa chews carelessly on hers. "First, we need to know your name."

She remembers—"I'm Rinoa Heartily, at your service!"

The two men before her exchanged unsure glances before turning back to the girl with two suitcases and a dog. "And you want to fight for Timber's independence."

"That's why I answered the ad," she replied, waving it around.

Zone leaned over and stage-whispered to Watts, "I told you we'd get some real weirdos if we put it in an ad…"

But it wasn't long before she became their Princess and they became her subjects—she gave orders with ease and a smile.

If Rinoa had anything, it was names that she could give to the SeeDs. Caraway, Heartily, Leonheart…she could lie. Maybe she should lie. What if…what if they took her back to Garden. What if Tessa went home and told her father? What if her peace was shattered by people that wanted to get a glance of the Sorceress?

(What if she told them and they didn't know her at all?)

She looks down and fiddles idly with the ring on her finger, ignoring the spur of, "Ma'am? Is something wrong". She remembers—Squall was never any good at this, though he'd grown better, but it didn't surprise her to see him stuck in silence, unable to express a thought he was having, unsure how to speak to her. "Squall? Is something wrong?" she prompted him, resting a comforting hand on his shoulder. He shook his head and knelt before her, producing a silver ring from somewhere in his pocket, holding it out like a promise to her.

"Ma'am? Your name?"

Rinoa blinks again and she is sitting in the kitchen with two impatient SeeDs full of questions. "I…I…"

She remembers—silence, absence, cold—_death_. It had happened suddenly, painlessly, in a way he wouldn't have wanted to go out. He was a warrior, a Commander, a Knight, and he'd been gone in one breath. A weak heart? Rinoa had perfected the art of laughing and crying at the same time, dancing around comforting hugs and smiling just right for the mourners who weren't mourning. She stayed just long enough to pack her things, his things—anything that reminded Garden that a Sorceress had stayed there. She had no place there without Squall, no reason to stay. She packed everything up and in a fortnight she was gone, without saying goodbye to anyone—not Quistis, who was stepping into command; not Zell, who'd dug the grave with the same hands that snapped necks; not Selphie, who stood next to the plot with a bundle in her arms, protecting a red-headed baby boy from the cold; not Irvine, who fired rounds over the grave that startled his son and made him cry. They weren't her place anymore, so she took a few thousand gil from Squall's funds, and bought herself a one-way boat ride to Centra.

It is Tessa's realization that brings her back this time, from those memories that hadn't bothered her in so long. The girl jumps up and gasps, pointing at Rinoa. "I know who you are! I've seen the pictures, and…but you look so different!"

It was true. She wasn't a princess anymore; she wasn't the daughter of a General, or the wife of a Commander. She was an old woman in a young woman, a Sorceress, and it wasn't a surprise that they hadn't recognized her straight away. Rinoa smiles, wryly.

"I remember you, Tessie. I recognize you too."

Her eyes widen in surprise, and she drops back into her chair. "No one calls me Tessie anymore. Not…not since my father died. They just _don't_."

He was dead then. Twenty years had gone by and SeeD had killed the best mechanic in Balamb, the hot dog eating champion of the Winhill fair.

Haeve clears his throat. "I'm sorry, but who are you, exactly?"

She was Timber's Princess, Garden's client, Julia's daughter, Caraway's biggest annoyance, Seifer's girl, Squall's girl, Selphie's maid of honor, the Sorceress, Ultimicia's slayer, an old woman, Caraway, Heartily, Leonheart—

"I'm Rinoa."

_Remember? _


End file.
